Finally! The Formula for Understanding Women

My wife just sent me this in my email...

"And thus, dear students, we have arrived, finally, at the formula for understanding women"

Count the REAL Cost, Part 2

I had the following conversation with a potential client recently. They were interested in marriage and stepfamily counseling and saw the need for doing something very different. However, when it came to the fee they were a bit taken aback by the perceived cost, "That's a lot more than I expected." I responded, in part, as follows:

I know this can still be a substantial sum. I encourage you to do a full cost/benefit analysis as you know your situation better than I do, of course. As you do so, please be sure you consider:

1. All the direct and indirect COSTS of not investing in solving these problems:
1. The most direct costs being the expense of divorce, attorneys, moving, two households, etc., as well as
2. The indirect costs of continuing and entrenching the same habits and patterns that led you into your current situation;
3. The emotional and mental impacts of going through divorce on all concerned, etc.; 
4. Better yet, just read read my article "Count the Cost" (that's the Part 1).
2. All the direct and indirect BENEFITS of investing in creating solutions including:
   
1. The simple math that any expense in this work will always be only a fraction of the costs of a divorce;
   
2. Finally learning (and doing so on the same page, at the same time) what is required to make a marriage and step-family not only work but how to make it truly phenomenal—one that can be enjoyed the rest of your lives;
3. The impact on the children of having a stable, secure home and a great marriage they can model their future relationships off of.
   
4. One question: If what I call "The GREAT Relationship" were possible in your marriage and family what price would you be willing to pay for that kind of marriage and that kind of family?
   
5. Still hesitant? Here's the kicker: I guarantee my work. Therapists typically and historically don't though. So why do I? Because it works and it's a safe bet for me. It's not because I'm cocky or arrogant. The GREAT Relationship Work simply works. The truth is, fortunately, that the research is in, the skills work, we're not running off of theory or guess work anymore. There are skills and strategies that have been proven effective. So what are the terms of this guarantee? Simple: Do 80% of the agreed upon work over the agreed upon course of our work and if there isn't marked and measurable progress I will refund your fees in full. Good luck finding that offer anywhere else. While you can finding cheaper counseling no problem, more often than not, though—as many of my clients have reported regarding prior counseling—you get what you pay for. If you do decide to work with someone else, which I respect, I STRONGLY encourage that you shop around carefully to find someone who specializes not only in this specific issues but who also has a proven track record. 
   

They are going to think about it. I hope they do. Money matters and is a serious consideration in making decisions. I get that as well as anyone. I just hope they think about all the costs and act accordingly to what they really value the most. 

 

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Looking for more ideas in creating a GREAT Relationship? Look no further:

• Contact me directly: 801.787.8014 or jonathan@bardos.net 
• Visit: JonathanSherman.net For services and workshops as well as to get special announcements and offers available only on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Blog 
• Visit rel8gr8.com and subscribe to "The 52 Love Songs Project", "The 365 Love Quotes Project", and "The GREAT Relationship Masters Project" to get daily, weekly and monthly GREAT Relationship Principles demonstrated via popular songs, timeless quotes and real-life "Relationship Masters".
• Read this week's "The GREAT Relationships eZine" at TheMarriageAcademy.blogspot.com

Last night my cool, hip and happenin' 16-year-old son asked if I would give him and his wife mariage advice when he is married. I told him, "Of course."

Now whether or not his wife will want it or not is up to her, which I respect, and it will be between them to craft their life together. What touched me was his valuing of my counsel in his life and the bond we share. I am touched to my core with the faith and trust given me from my child turned teen soon to turn man. It is for moments like that that as a father I willingly toil and labor to be the kind of man he needs and deserves to guide him. I pray that all men will rise to the challenge of this sacred calling of Fatherhood.


— For more tips, strategies and resources for creating truly GREAT relationships with self and others visit http://JonathanSherman.net —